Punky Mama


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It’s For The Best Mom

On Saturday morning I got up after working a night shift.  Ryan was off walking the neighbors dog which is his summer job, Elliott was up in the shower.  Aaron and I were hanging out. Suddenly it hit me.  Thorazine leaves on tour in less than eight weeks and I am about to leave my little one behind for over ten days.  The most I have been away from him is two nights since he was born. A panic started to spread through my body.  I said, Aaron I am freaking out a little about leaving you when we go on tour. I am going to miss you so much.

He looked at me with is dreamy green eyes and put his hand on my arm.  He said Mom, we have technology now and we can skype and facetime every single day! He went on, I can read labels and I promise to keep myself safe from my food allergies.   I am looking forward to going to camp for the first time.  He hugged me and said, Mom really it is for the best.  I don’t want to drive all the way across the country and then up the coast.  I can’t stay up late everyday and be well behaved with Ryan all day everyday in a vehicle.  I might want to come next time but I am not sure I am old enough to go on tour now. He went on you guys need to go.  I have been hearing about tour since I was a baby but I am not ready to be part of it. The band makes my parents special.

I hugged him hard and I though this is the same kid who when he was three year old and started preschool told me not to take pictures and to leave just did it again in another way. He basically is sending me off on tour and told me that he will be fine.

I still worry because I am his Mom.  At the same time I could not be any prouder of his independence and in reality, I can’t wait to play music every single day with my best friends for ten days!


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School End

Finally the busy school year is over.  It was a mixed bag.  Aaron is doing wonderfully academically, socially, and in an way he can.  He is a helpful kid and his teacher had such glowing things to say and we could not be prouder.

As it has always been, Ryan has struggled on and off this year in school.  His teacher is a kind patient educator who has tries everything she can for her students. With the beginnings of puberty Ryan has struggled more than he has in a few years.  He was in trouble at school, home, and swim team.  He struggled with the other students and most of all he struggled academically.  It was painfully difficult to watch and some of the bad grades were him not following directions and not doing that needed to be done. The summer started rough as transitions are not his strong suit but a few days in he is doing better.

I think it is time to visit the developmental pediatrician’s again.  Try to see if there are medications for Ryan that don’t make him swell up and turn red. To see if there are any other therapies we should be trying for him. I called today and because we have not been seen in a few ears I had to go through intake all over again, fill out new paperwork, then wait six months for an appointment.

Wish us luck.


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The Sky Is The Limit

We have been busy.  My mother in law’s estate is not going to sell itself and I am so tired of living with the boxes.  The Thorazine summer tour is just about booked (just one date left to fill), Aaron has a reservation at camp that week near my sisters house, and we are working on our travel plans.  School is winding down and in a matter of weeks I will be working at my summer job of being a cruise director for kids. It’s all good.

Ryan has been struggling a bit. He knows a transition is coming and he is starting to do his normal acting out around a transition. His BSC, the school, and I are trying to support him while he takes responsibility for his own actions. There have been a few meetings too.  He moves to middle school this year and it is a big deal. The school and the BSC are working on him taking more responsibility for himself. It’s all positive.

We have been doing some advocacy for the boys school.  The school lays in a grey area.  It is a cyber charter with learning centers which a unique use of a cyber charter.  The legislators were interested in learning more and wanted to see how Ed Plus has morphed their idea of a cyber charter. They were also discussing funding to cyber charter schools. They asked me if I could come and be the voice of Ed Plus parents and they invited my kids to be there. They asked if the boys wanted to speak.  Aaron did not want to speak but he wanted to be there. Ryan stood up in front of four State Representative, the head of his school, and assorted other parents and staffers.  He did so well, stood up, and told his story. Proud does not even describe how I felt about him choosing to do this. I didn’t get all the kids speaking because my phone ran out of space.  The audio is low so you have to listen carefully.


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I Spent Nine Hours in a Recording Studio With Two Kids and I Kept My Sanity.

Ryan in his little corner of the studio.....

Ryan in his little corner of the studio…..

I knew it was coming for a while.  Thorazine were headed into the studio.  We are recording a few of our new songs and one song is coming out on Punk Aid 4: For Autism in the fall.  When both parents are in the same band the kids have to come along. It’s that or a sitter and a sitter would add on over $100 on the studio costs for us and because we are two people we pay for half of the band expenses.  Suffice to say sitters are avoided whenever possible.

I started prepping the kids weeks before our time in the studio. Our rehearsal space is a studio, so we recorded there knowing the kids would be comfortable. I told them that recording was a long boring part of being in a band, but totally necessary. I implored that without their support it would be impossible for us to record. Of course we had a plan in place.  My husband and the rest of the band got to the studio before I did and they got set up and miked.  When we were about 30 minutes from needing me to record the scratch track I left home.  I was armed with a ton of stuff,  their computers, headsets, and tons of food and snacks.

Once we got the kids settled in we never saw them.  They spent a ton of time eating, playing way too many computer games, and sometimes playing together. There were people coming and going for the Guitars not Guns Program but the kids took it in stride. After we were on hour four it was time for guitar over dubs so I took the kids to the park where they got to swing and jump over the benches for about an hour.  Eventually we walked

Aaron rocking out from his spot in the studio kitchen!

Aaron rocking out from his spot in the studio kitchen!

back and they settled in again and the vocal recording started.

I could see Ryan was getting bored and done with what he brought with him so he hung out with me. After I did a couple of takes he asked to be in

the room with me.  I told him ONLY if he could be silent. I got the best take with Ryan standing next to me bopping up and down to the music mouthing the words at me. After that take I got the biggest hug and the pride in his eyes was something I will never forget.  The rest of the session he accompanied me in the booth. It made it so magical for me.  To have him not just be at the studio, but be in the room as I recorded my part of the song brought the band and my role as a parent together in a way that I will never forget. In the control room was Hoover and Elliott. Elliott is very understated about feedback on anything in life and he said, I really like the growl singing. I had Hoover rooting for me like a wild man and Ryan bopping and dancing by my side. It helped me get the job done. After the nine full hours in

Our park break was essential!

Our park break was essential!

the studio were over, we went to dinner because heck I am not cooking after a day like that. We sat together as a family and it felt good and right.

I always thought being in a band would feel so selfish and take time from my family.  I thought it was an endeavor for a younger person.  I was never so wrong.  The kids are so completely supportive and this has become part of our normal life.  The band makes sure that the kids don’t miss important events like swim meets and birthday parties because we all care about each other, the kids included. Thorazine used to be four members but now it has grown to six.


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Step Away From The Ebay

My mother in law passed away in the fall.  It’s been a crazy time of clearing her house and donating her things. Some of her things they wanted to sell and I was asked to sell them on Ebay. At Christmas time I sold about $300 worth of old puzzles and toys.  It was great to have the extra money at Christmas and it was fairly easy.

This time my house is buried in boxes and I after 131 auctions posted I am not even close to  halfway finished. It is sucking me in and often I am at the post office with ten to twenty packages and waiting on those who win but wait for freaking ever to pay.  It is taking me from doing things I need to do like work on our west coast tour and blogging. This week I had enough and I let the auctions I had end.  It’s overwhelming and I need a few days off from worrying if I shipped something on time and if there is a post office on my way to something else. It gets especially hectic when I am trying to work night shifts and do packing, answering questions, posting, and post office runs. So I made the executive decision that things are not going to be posted again till the weekend. i need to be normal for a while, the boxes will be there where I left them till the weekend. Till then I am going to think about rock and roll tour for a while.

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