On Saturday morning I got up after working a night shift. Ryan was off walking the neighbors dog which is his summer job, Elliott was up in the shower. Aaron and I were hanging out. Suddenly it hit me. Thorazine leaves on tour in less than eight weeks and I am about to leave my little one behind for over ten days. The most I have been away from him is two nights since he was born. A panic started to spread through my body. I said, Aaron I am freaking out a little about leaving you when we go on tour. I am going to miss you so much.
He looked at me with is dreamy green eyes and put his hand on my arm. He said Mom, we have technology now and we can skype and facetime every single day! He went on, I can read labels and I promise to keep myself safe from my food allergies. I am looking forward to going to camp for the first time. He hugged me and said, Mom really it is for the best. I don’t want to drive all the way across the country and then up the coast. I can’t stay up late everyday and be well behaved with Ryan all day everyday in a vehicle. I might want to come next time but I am not sure I am old enough to go on tour now. He went on you guys need to go. I have been hearing about tour since I was a baby but I am not ready to be part of it. The band makes my parents special.
I hugged him hard and I though this is the same kid who when he was three year old and started preschool told me not to take pictures and to leave just did it again in another way. He basically is sending me off on tour and told me that he will be fine.
I still worry because I am his Mom. At the same time I could not be any prouder of his independence and in reality, I can’t wait to play music every single day with my best friends for ten days!