Punky Mama

I am not on a psych hold for 48 hours,  not going on vacation, nor am I doing anything fun.

We should have an answer from the Grand Poobah of TSS service for Ryan in 48 hours.  More than a year of work comes to this decision.  All the paper gathering, the endless evaluations, the extra evaluations, the tears, the worries, the endless waiting, all of it is in their hands.  Part of me is still so angry.  How dare they make a decision in 48 hours on something we put so much blood, sweat, and tears into.  Then again I am grateful that it is a quick decision because I am kind of holding my breath.

When our case manager called to tell me that the paperwork was submitted she immediately talked about what she could do to help me with the appeal process, if we had to go there.  I can’t get my hopes up because we are Charlie Brown and they are Lucy with the football, taunting us, and eventually yanking it out from under us time and time again.  Instead I am holding my breath.  I am not sure what to do besides appeal if it is a no.  I have quite a few readers who have offered to help me fight because their jobs have them in a position to help.  For now I wait, anxiously.

I have a guest post up over at Dresden’s blog, Creating Motherhood. She has had an ongoing guest post series about welfare benefits and who is using them these days, it’s a fascinating read.  Scroll back in her archives for posts on Fridays to read some poignant stories in her series titled, “In times like these.”   My post is about medical assistance and how it helps my family.  Go ahead and read it.

Today I am meeting with the person who did Ryan’s  functional behavioral analysis to sign papers.  I have been waiting to meet up with this person for almost two weeks just to sign papers.  I hope to be signing them as I listen to PA State Senator Vincent Hughes speak to my sons school community about what the PA school budget cuts have meant for us.  I can’t wait for someone to tell him we have NO paper.

Quite the auspicious day.  I hope for some change for the schools, help for Ryan, and an understanding about what medical assistance means to my family and so many others, or all of the above.

It is hard to eat out with Aaron but reading blogs by adults  with food allergies has taught me that it is possible, even though it is always scary. We have most of the time stuck to chain restaurants because they have food allergy training for their staff.  They are aware of cross contamination and things like that.  I hate chain restaurants, they offend me in so many other ways, although they are a safe choice.   Tonight eating out was a necessity. Our new dishwasher was delivered but my very DIY husband decided that he would install it.  We have been without water in the kitchen since last night.  He is supposed to install it when he gets home from work but due to a late meeting he is not even on his way yet, and it is 8:30 pm.    I had seen my friend TaxGirl and her daughter heading over to this restaurant in the past.   I decided to call them before visiting.  I told them about our allergies and we discussed what Aaron could have. The person who answered the phone is a teacher and had food allergy training.  He was very helpful.  Usually I bring some safe food and he gets an order of fries, his absolute favorite.  They let us bring in our own food for Aaron and were very understanding.

We biked over. Immediately some of the kitchen staff who were on break pointed out where we could leave our bikes out of sight.   We sat on high stools in the bar area and the boys loved being so high up and looking at everything and everyone.  They insisted I wanted to quit my bar job and start working there!   They were  lovely dinner companions.  Ryan’s stomach is on the mend and he ate like a champ.  While we ate Ryan mentioned he thought the couple behind us were on a date!! Ryan is fascinated with all matters to deal with dating rituals, marriage, weddings, and stuff that most eight year old boys hate.  He said he thought they had probably just started dating because they were talking a lot and smiling.  At the end of the meal, as we left, Ryan walked over to the couple and told them he thought they were “perfect for each other.”  Gotta love a kid with no filter.  The couple laughed,blushed, and thanked him.

My gentlemen matchmakers and I then rode off on our bikes into the too balmy for February night.

Today started off wrong. Ryan was off, Aaron was clingy, and I was wishing they were in school.

We had a play date scheduled with our old friend C and his son D.  C has been my friend since before we were married and had kids. His son D and Ryan became friends as toddlers at a time when they used to call Aaron, “baby”.  We tend to see them on federal holidays like Veteran’s Day or President’s Day.

We went to hike at Valley Green.  We started with feeding the ducks.  Ryan was insisting that he should be close to the water and trying to push Aaron or D in.  I stopped all the boys and said, The water is very very cold.  It could be very dangerous.  In typical fashion, they ignored me.

We then went on a hike to a rope swing in the woods.  C was pushing the boys on the swing and I was trying to explain that in the fall the water was much warmer and to be careful….SPLASH  I turn around to see Aaron in the water!! His eyes were as big as saucers and C and I were there in seconds, there to scoop Aaron out.  He screamed I am sooooooo cold!!!  C and I quickly stripped off Aaron’s shirt and coat and put our sweatshirts on him.  He was shivering.  We were parked about half a mile away and Aaron with wet pants and shoes had to hike.  Ryan hiked with him and put his arm around him protectively.  Luckily, I am the anal Mom who always has a change of clothes in the car.  I just leave the old diaper bag in the car with a change of clothes for each kid, a few bottles of water, and some raggy towels because, I have “those” kids who get muddy, wet, or have crazy accidents.  I helped Aaron strip off his clothes and I dried him and he put on a clean pair of sweats with dry socks.  Ryan went with C and D in their car so it was Aaron and I alone.

He was very quiet on the way home sitting in his car seat with his feet tucked up under him.  Finally he said, I should of listened.  Then he said, I know how the people on the Titanic died.  It hurts to be cold.  It really hurts.

I got him home, stuck him in a hot shower, and washed all of his clothes.  There was no damage done. He is still freaked out and talked about it all night. He kept saying how glad he was he could swim.  I thought the same thing.

My hands are still shaking.