I have spent a ton of time this summer not thinking about the boys school. I avoid driving past it, talking about it, and I am pretending it does not exist.  We have seen almost no one from school, being we swim 900 hours a week.

Now I haven’t REALLY forgotten.  I have been seeing the behavior therapist, the OT, and we start PT this week.  The OT is shocked they are not giving Ryan more help in school with his muscle weakness in his hands which is leading to horrible handwriting and bad grades for writing keeping him off the honor roll.  I have talk to the behavior specialist about an interrum summer IEP meeting to add homework support so we start the school year stronger. Thinking, talking, or anything to do with school leaves a knot  in my stomach.

I saw a neighbor today to borrow a martini glass for a freelance project.  Yeah, I rock the jobs like that.

Anyway we started talking about school and I panicked.  School is going to be in our lives again.  I am still exhausted from fighting last year and feeling like I got nowhere.  Aaron is ok with school starting again, he likes it.  Ryan not so much.  I am not ready to take my square peg and spend months jamming him into a round hole to get him to where he finally has it together for school to end a month later?  I am so not ready for the hours and hours and hours of homework and no one caring about how horrible our home life becomes for Aaron.

When I talked to the lawyer they said there is little they can do because Ryan has made academic progress.  Even though the homework is so much and they completely are failing him on the OT front.

I am also not ready to home school and to have going to work the only time I am ever away from the kids. I am dealing with it over the summer but I know it is finite.  I will again be able to work more in the day.  Today was the worst day of our summer so far behavior wise and you know  it is better than a school day.

I just wish there was another option.