Yep, Solo Parenting weekend AGAIN.  Ugh

My husband and his brothers are off to the beach on their motorcycles this weekend.  After the last trip the brothers all decided to do the trip again and soon.  My husband handed the dates he was free to his brother a month ago and this past THURSDAY got a return email.  Hey, lets go THIS weekend.  Of course, I don’t want to be a spoil sport and I sent him on his way.  Heck, I did have four days at Blog Her 12, fair is fair.

As he left Ryan, who was completely against him leaving, had a monumental meltdown with him screaming so loud it was as if I could hear the very vibration of his vocal chords. My poor husband was going to stay here but I told him it was like leaving a baby at daycare and he had to go. I was right, about 30 minutes after the meltdown Ryan emerged from his room and had a great afternoon with the neighbors playing outside.

Before my husband left we talked about the fact we will probably not be able to leave the house overnight together for the next decade or so now that the sole person who would willingly take the kids overnight moved to South Carolina. My husband was urging me to make plans to go away with a “friend”.  The thought of that makes me so sad because we as a couple won’t be able to reconnect for more than an evening, no sleeping in together with no responsibility, and absolutely no adventures sans kids for the next DECADE.  It makes me feel trapped beyond belief, and I don’t manage trapped feelings well says the woman who in one decade drove cross country ten times with her punk rock band, lived in New Orleans briefly, and hitchhiked Europe. I enjoyed going to Blog Her 12, I enjoy all of my friends, they are amazing people but my husband after all this time is my best friend and sometimes I want to go with him.  To stay sane we will have to get away now and then separately.

How do we keep a marriage alive with such crazy restrictions?  We are both very free people who let the other live their own life but a marriage needs nurturing.  How can we relax enough to do that at home?  Any and all ideas are appreciated.  I looked into special needs respite people, yes they cost $17 to $25 an hour.  That would be one very expensive weekend.  I wish I could adopt a childfree couple who in their older age are sad they don’t get the chance to be grandparents who are cool with our needs.  We could make them Sunday dinners, and have them over for gatherings, and they would be excited to learn about our issues and get comfortable with taking the boys after a while.  Now that would be amazing, so would winning the lottery.