Today Ryan saw the developmental pediatrician. Ryan’s vacation is over and he is back on the fun with brain chemistry party bus. If you have not been following along I will set you up with a scorecard. He tried Ritalin and it failed after it caused him to have a red burning face. On his medical charts it now lists him as allergic to Ritalin. Then Ryan tried Tenex. That caused that unknown till now side effect of OCD symptoms and very high anxiety so that he spent the most of the Christmas Vacation in the house. This weeks drug is Adderall.
The doctors were giving me the speech about how this time it was going to be different and they were hopeful this would be the drug for Ryan. I said to the doctors I can’t get my hopes up again. I thought can’t get my hopes up about ADHD drugs working, I can’t get my hopes up about Aaron outgrowing his food allergies, I can’t get my hopes up they can give me a definitive diagnosis for Ryan, that the TSS will be replaced with someone better, or that Aaron can be safe out and about in the world. I can’t have hope because then I can be very disappointed. I choose to take life one day at a time. I choose to keep moving forward as best I can but, I can’t afford myself the luxury of hope.
Saturday morning is the first dose. I am anxious to see what will happen. I will be moving forward with no hopes and a open mind.