Suddenly, without warning Ryan is not in crisis.  Pinch me.

It all started after the medicine trials failed. He seemed relieved that they were over because each drug made him feel worse than the next. He suddenly has gotten very positive.  He is working hard with his behavioral therapist and the reports from the teachers are that his new TSS is wonderful and is all about helping him do what needs to be done.  He is just happy all the time.  I can’t remember the last time the kid had a real meltdown but back in the fall he was melting down over everything all the time.  He was miserable.  Trying to talk like a rapper all the time, telling me he hated his favorite activities like swimming and choir because they were not “cool” activities like football.   I offered him the choice not to swim when the season ended.  He was just completely defiant and morose most of the time.

About a month ago my husband and I sat Ryan down after one of his outbursts of what was cool and basically told him that we were the outcasts in school too.  That we were people who have chosen to live life differently, and by being his parents he gets it from both of us.  We said that we had some amazing adventures that most people only dream of but we were never people who fit in easily with those who chose to live life traditionally. We told him to tell the bullies that he would report their behavior and that he had a ton of adults in school who would not put up with the bullying.  He went to school, told these kids he was happy to be different and if they did not stop he would talk to the Dean.  He said the kids have left him alone since that day and Ryan was then happy to buy a pair of red sneakers he wanted but was afraid to buy before. He has gotten passionate about swimming and singing again and he stopped trying to talk like a rapper. He goes off to school happier and he seems to be comfortable in his skin suddenly.  He still has off days, like Tuesday when he was asked to leave his choir rehearsal but he redoubled his efforts on doing his best and minding his behavior.  Getting the weight of trying to fit in off his shoulders seems to have freed him to be himself again.   I am glad because Ryan is one glorious, smart, driven person who when he is fighting for himself can do whatever he wants to do.