Friday was a really emotional day. Ryan had the worst morning. I had been waiting for Ryan’s behavioral consultant to call me for twelve long days, twelve days to submit an evaluation with my signature. I finally had to call his boss. I told the boss that I would be at Senator Hughes meeting at the school and the consultant could meet me there. I then had a long teary talk with Ryan’s counselor. I was dumbfounded how a kid who had perfect behavior the week before was now in trouble again daily. I was so frustrated with how alone I feel in getting help for Ryan. She suggested a ADHD support group. Right, the largest ADHD support group in the US is 100% funded by the pharmaceutical companies. In my opinion, to have a support group funded solely by those who profit from a disorder is a conflict of interest. I know most people think that stimulant meds are the miracle for ADHD, but I am skeptical. They are a miracle for some but I can’t imagine them a cure all for everyone. After all of the negative effects we have had with epilepsy drugs, I am fearful.
I sat and listened intently to what Senator Hughes had to say. His main message was what we could do as parents for our school was to make noise. He suggested we write letters, call, and attend rally’s, let our voices be heard that we don’t want the city schools to be under funded. The governor eventually wants to be reelected so if we make enough noise he can’t ignore us. I sat in this meeting and quietly cried most of the time. Finally, Ryan’s behavioral consultant showed up and pushed the long awaited paperwork at me. He asked why I was upset and I replied, I am having a bad day. As we left the meeting a reporter approached me and I told him how I thought the budget cuts effected our school. Hello, can we start with the fact we have NO PAPER and work from there. I gave the reporter a piece of my mind and a ton of information while simultaneously having a conversation with Ryan’s behavioral consultant.
The next day I had a play date with my friend C and his son D. He lives in the township where we are thinking about moving. He moved to his neighborhood for the special education the district is known for. He cautioned me. He said he has lived in his house for four years and he didn’t like his neighbors. He knew two neighbors and didn’t know them well. He has his parents as support but he feels like they are a family without a tribe.
Today we went to a birthday party for Ryan’s friend’s little sister. We were invited to be playmates for the brother, and the Mom and I are friends. Here we were a bunch of urban folks in a bouncy house place in the suburbs. We had fun, the kids had a blast. I had a fascinating discussion about culture with an African American woman who is 50 years old. She spent most of her childhood in Paris as an Army brat and she discussed moving to the USA in 1966 and the culture shock she experienced. Along with this woman we were talking to a neighbor who is German and Spanish. He grew up in both countries. He met his Malaysian wife at MIT. It was a fascinating conversation about traditions and culture.
We have no family support. Our community has become our support. I can think of five people off the top of my head I could call for emergency childcare – school pickup. I can think of five people who have called me for the same thing. I think about the women I exercise with, hiking a couple days a week. I started exercising last year and lately I have picked up a gang of women who accompany me when they can. We are all completely different and on paper we probably should not be friends, but we are friends, and we laugh so hard at times it makes my sides hurt. They encourage me and inspire me in a way that I can’t put on paper. I love my diverse urban neighborhood tucked along the woods and the creek.
Can I convince the government of the city, the state of PA, and the country that urban education is worth investing in, not just for me but for all of the urban stories out there? I will move from my house for my kids education if I have to but the perfect place for them to live is right here.
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